A good friend of mine who lived in Northern Ireland some time ago once remarked to me. “Sure it was something terrible to live there (N.I) in the 60’s. We never went anywhere in those days.”  Now I did not entirely agree with him but I have to admit that I was only in Enniskillen twice and that was only because I was going to Galway and Enniskillen was on the way.

Well you all probably know by now. Enniskillen is now on the map. Yeah the Big Map!  On June 17^th – 18^th they hosted the G8 talks.  (“Well thank God he’s going to write something politically orientated” I can hear Fred say. Fred is the editor as if you didn’t know by now. He’s almost as famous as Gerry   em   em  what’s his name!)

Well politics in Ulster for me when I was young was very basic. It was black and white. It was orange and green. You were one or the other! I wonder if it has changed. Those that did - marched.  Those that didn’t - stayed at home and watched those that did on the television!     Was this marching why they chose Fermanagh as the location of the 2013 G8 summit?  Let me tell you a LITTLE about it.

The Group of Eight (G8) is a forum for the governments of the world's eight wealthiest countries. The forum originated with a 1975 summit hosted by France that brought together representatives of six governments: France, West Germany, Italy, Japan, the United Kingdom, and the United States, thus leading to the name Group of Six or G6. The summit became known as the G7 the following year with the addition of Canada.  In 1997, Russia was added to the group which then became known as the G8. The European Union is represented within the G8 but cannot host or chair summits.

There can surely be no better location for a summit of world leaders seeking to make decisions that affect the harmony and sustainability of the world in which we live than The Fermanagh Lakes; home to places that have been used for reverie and contemplation for hundreds of years.

Just down the road from the Lough Erne Resort is Devenish Island where St. Molaise founded a
monastery in the 6th Century. With one of the finest round towers in Ireland, the Devenish monastery is emblematic of the significance of Lough Erne and its environs for learning and spirituality.    The area is rich with heritage and history and also provides a sensational backdrop to fishing and water sports for the increasing number of tourists who seek out Fermanagh.

The talks will take place in the Lough Erne Resort,  a five star hotel, spa and championship golf course situated on a 600 acre estate between Castle Hume Lough and Lower Lough Erne.     The resort boasts a banqueting hall and two championship golf courses.  Ideally located only minutes from Enniskillen town centre and St Angelo Airport for private jet arrival, the resort is within a 2 hour drive of Dublin International Airport, Belfast International Airport (Aldergrove), Belfast City Airport (George Best), Sligo and City of Derry Airport as well as Belfast & Dublin ports.  In Irish terms that is remote.

Lough Erne Resort has 5 helipads for helicopter arrivals, or arrivals by seaplane on Castle Hume Lough, which the resort buildings directly overlook.  I must bring my helicopter the next time I visit. A team can arrange transfers to the resort whether you require a chauffeur driven car, limousine or car hire. Bicycles and small cars are not encouraged.  Sorry only kidding.   The 18th hole by the shores of Lough Erne is only a par three. But from the Championship tee, 228 yards from the green, it is totally intimidating.  (Well not for me I should add. It is not on my bucket list to drive off any Championship tees on any course!)    Hit it right, the ball goes into the water and sinks into the lough; go left and you could brain an unsuspecting imbiber on the terrace; too short or too long, you are in the reeds; even a near-perfect shot can embed itself in a gully. Frankly, all the options look horrible.

If the Group of Eight presidents and prime ministers who gathered on Monday at the Lough Erne resort have a moment even to look, they might see this as a metaphor for the political choices they face. To stand the slightest chance of making a viable decision and executing it well, they need hard heads, soft hands – and a lot of luck. But that is one thing we Irish seemingly have. (Well, I am not so sure nowadays)

 

 

 

Lough Erne is an appropriate venue in another respect. The reality of this sumptuous-looking setting is all too similar to most of the countries the leaders represent. Beneath the surface luxury, the operation is broke. It went into administration two years ago and is up for sale for a knock-down £10m. The purpose of the G8 summit may be unclear to most people including me before I started writing this article. Now it is just hazy. But apparently it is clear enough to the people around Fermanagh!  It is the biggest property marketing exercise in history …Honest!

Lough Erne must be the second-most improbable setting in the 38-year sequence of these events. I have forgotten what the first one was. The South Pole maybe or the top of Mt. Everest! Even a few years ago, the political atmosphere made this border region feel too dangerous for any world leader – most golfers too accept those with handicaps over 30.  But a local entrepreneur had a vision: a five-star resort in the middle of nowhere. This vision subsequently turned out to be a nightmare. In late 2008 it became reality, just as the Irish and global economies caved in. Less than two years later the bankers pulled out of Ireland, north and south, and called in their loans. Now how mean was that?

Architecturally, the place is a bit forbidding: a grey mix of Scottish baronial and army barrack. But it has two matchless advantages: the lough-side scenery and the warmth of the locals. Ulster people may well be the friendliest on earth (except  of course to each other). Apparently people there are ridiculously trustworthy, or so I have been told. That trust includes the local belief that this struggling area will somehow gain some benefit from this shindig.
There have already been some pluses: a few road improvements;  beefed-up broadband and 3G coverage; and a major wash and brush-up for Enniskillen. “There’s not a painter unemployed for 200
miles round,” it was reported. There weren’t many painters for 200 miles around anyway, I thought
  to myself. They are all in Australia! It’s great to be a cynic these days. “It’s 26 000 miles from Perth to
Enniskillen! “ I sang and reminded myself of the recent article about Donaghadee.  (Oh get on with it
man I can hear you say….   Sorry!)

You couldn't get more Ulster when it comes to food for this famous event.  Chefs at Fermanagh's Lough Erne Resort have been working on the menus for four months. Yeah a long time to write out a menu!     On the Friday before the great event, the last details were still being finalised at the luxury resort. Extra equipment has been bought, new uniforms brought in and all the resort's kitchen utensils upgraded. (Who told me that?  And new teaspoons!)   Staff in Lough Erne's four kitchens have undergone around 100 hours additional training each. It begs the question what they knew before doesn’t it?

Exactly what the G8 leaders will eat is being kept secret …perhaps because they are still working on the menu as I mentioned above.  A range of up to 25 dishes – including vegan and vegetarian delicacies – will be offered…. and accepted one hopes.

The ingredients will be drawn from across Ireland – except, perhaps, for the lemons. (What   No Irish lemons. I am sure I’ve seen a few when I was there last!)  Comber spuds, Glastry ice-cream from Co Down and fresh fish from Donegal's Killybegs port are all expected to appear on the menus – beside cheeses from Fivemiletown, beef from Lisnaskea firm Kettyles, (if I only knew what they were) and black bacon and corned beef from Enniskillen's renowned butchers.

Local delicacies will include yellowman ice-cream with a dulse garnish, (I honestly never knew that was a delicacy!)  Toomebridge eels with a sweet red onion marmalade and local oatcakes. (What no Irish stew or Guinness pie?)

And, of course, the Ulster fry with black and white pudding. (Well I would hope so!) Thank goodness there was no gammon steak and pineapple on the menu. It used to be in ALL the menus and it was why I left Ulster 40 years ago!

The choice for the venue was made partly on security grounds. The resort is largely surrounded by water; six miles of fence and thousands of policemen will do the rest of the job. But David Cameron appears to be making another statement: that here is an area transformed from a war zone into a holiday destination.

As is customary, the protesters  at the G8 will be trying to draw attention to various issues but the main themes for the locals are likely to be youth emigration and fracking. No, you don’t have to reread that.  I wrote Fracking!

Plans for fracking near the border village of Belcoo are drawing strong opposition. But against that, there is not much in Belcoo, although there is an Italian deli with an enticingly open door. It’s fake, or so I was told but it is the best of several that have gone up on vacant shops in the vicinity. Who is it designed to fool, though? Maybe a passing Italian prime minister, or the locals pointing at a non-existent prosperity? This is Ireland, and one can never be quite sure who is kidding whom or if they are actually kidding at all! If Ulster was in the South, we could just blame it all on the “Celtic Tiger!”

Still, Fermanagh should enjoy the fun and attention. They would bring out the flags, except that this is Ulster, and the flag (that new four lettered word I mentioned a while back) you fly – Union Jack or Irish tricolour – is a provocative statement. The council wants them taken down instead. Have you ever asked someone to take down his flag? Things could get nasty!

Now if you want to know what actually happened, well I will let you all Google it for yourselves. The headlines are not so different from what I hinted at above.  One sure thing, the leaders of the G8 countries will not be reading this article and even if they did, I am sure they would not understand it.  I know you will.  As my Irish friend from that well known school in Sorrento would say, “Sure it’s as clear as mud!”