A trip to the hospital

I was not going to write about this little/major event. Little that is for the specialist (doctor) and major for the patient...me. I tried a few details on a few friends and judging by their reaction I will spare cyper space the details. A friend of mine wrote a song for me and I have a good tune for it. It goes like this

I'm not too healthy or wealthy or wise I've got a complaint that you might recognise
I'm long in the tooth and my time's getting short But I've got a charity I must support

When you're an old crock ya invest in a doc
Then sponsor a minion a second opinion
Sustain that subtractor the poor chiropractor
Bail out at his urgin' some broke dental surgeon
And if pain persists just add to the list
Until you end up with the psychiatrist !

This reminded me of a time spent in a hospital in the U.S. when I worked there in my youth. I had a pain in the stomach which turned out to be appendicitis. I visited a hospital but was told to come back later if I felt really sick. I returned a few hours later and was on the operating table a few minutes later. I wrote this little piece shortly after. It should be remembered that I was accustomed to the National Health Service!

Where is the pain? Right here Doctor.
Have you got medical insurance? No Nurse.
Does this hurt? A little Doctor.
What does your father do? He's dead nurse.
What about here? That doesn't hurt at all Doctor.
Did he leave you any money? No Nurse.
When did the pain start? Yes Doctor.
Has your mother any money? No Nurse.
Did it come on very suddenly? Yes Doctor.
What do you do for a job? No Nurse.
I think we are going to have to operate. OK? Yes Doctor.
Are you sure you have
No money
No parents
No friends who could help you? No Nurse.
Well we think there is not much wrong
I won't charge you. Yes doctor.
Go and seek a second opinion No nurse.

So what happened this time around? Well the doctor this time tinkered with my prostate which caused a seqence of events which lead me to a G.P. a Physiotherapist, a Podiatrist, a Sports Medecine Specialist, a Nurse in Ireland specialising in prostate problems, and then back to a different G.P. The second opinion in this case was correct and finally a chiropractor who fixed me up in 10 minutes and then insisted I return for a further 4 visits. To be truthful, I am not much better off now than the day the surgeon persuaded me to have the operation but I am told it will settle down ....eventually. Of course I have lots of stories to tell but as I mentioned earlier, perhaps this is not the place. Surfice to say that I was proscribed 50 panedol forte. ( 4 of these tablets constipate one for a week! If I had taken all 50, I would have been constipated for life!) I took 3. Three doses of stong antibiotics that had no effect whatsoever and finally some magic pill which prevents the bladder from having a spasm! Great it is working!!! However there are side effects....naturally I will leave you all to work out your own moral of the story.